s e p t e m b e r - i n

the mEp	s e ptember 2001
*Lyrics of Life*	august july june may April

OCTOBER came early this year

photo album

september 29 2001 LÖRDAG9:05AM GMT +01:00

sunshine;
parsely;
beef;

saturday morning in sunny stockholm, wasting my time on cheap talk and wine?
there's a million songs to sing rings around in the land of wool blazers and turtle necks; where milky white skin outshines tight skin-tight! grey flannel pants
where they could be thinking that same thing as me, as we pass in the street or we vie for a seat on the commuter train, where Kort Tag means 'short train'.

i'm still not sure what 'consultants' know, will i ever be one, and where they sit around for a long time waiting for things to begin. and some of them, with 'expert' in their business titles, chuckle as i ask if they are really experts.i've moved from one place to another but i recognize this place and they recognize me too. we join forces and i'm pleased that they are those with whom energy can be joined.

photo album courtesy of my brother!

__________________________________________________________________september 27 2001 THURSDAY7:50AM GMT +01:00

comfy sleep and poots awakes rested for a change.

thanks God for that and for knowing cheese. i suppose there are many more than not, us canajuns who do no know cheese. shame. turnings and whirlings of things that - ! - really don't concern me much. i'm here, outside the bubble watching from the inside. never matter, the kaffegradde is good and some friends are around today.

so there is an odd combination of what is going on in the world; a mix of unbelievable good with a dash of unbelievable bad. some of the good is very close, as poots and boots reach for stars in a globally sad time. i imagine that there always was this indiscrepant mixtures. like this. one enjoys it less if one has a conscience. but once one is over jetlag one begins to see things that were hidden before.

i've got new theories, yes, but today i'm trying to remain in the peaceable moments. in the dancing air. i'm just trying to spell things out in a lyrical fashion,a visit to my private place, in a quiet moment, what i've been waiting nearly a week for. i enjoy this ; this meditation, this time alone; my thoughts on the wall, however thinly veiled; however insignificant.

we'll see if prisextra has some espresso beans; and thanks to the girl who explains what breadcrumbs are.

and don't come here lookng for explanations of war;
don't see my words and think me indifferent,
don't pass me off as a pacifist immediately - i may well be,
but i have my opposing views too.
you have to see the important things from venus,
people, although there is no one here to whom i need to say that.
a sorts of preaching to the converted methinks; and then i begin to wonder what they would preach and what i would read in those words.
i cannot take my 30-something female acadian glasses off,
but i can open the book backwards and read it upside down.
i can watch myself from venus and that's a start too.
but don't you forget it,
i can watch you from venus too and often i am,
often i am.

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september 25 2001 TUESDAY8:16AM GMT +01:00

five suns follow us, the white coffee mugs are smooth. the water makes my skin soft or is it the practically artic air?
visitors confirmed; grocery stores have food. allowances are handed out.
email server on the fritz, what�s that, expensive? chianti is 20% cheaper than home.
there is a magic in the air ?the only words that come out to describe what is the combination of us, and this place. an unpredictable trio that just seems to work.
a relaxed air swoops over us. something is familiar? is it winter? i�m comparing side by side to LA, to the feelings i had in that place, to the fear, the endlessness of it all. was it just perhaps too big, or too large for life...i can�t tell.

there is more but i shouldrun.

groggy (earlier)

ok so this is September; nearly over; many world events leaving the mEp a quiet place.
but poots is still here, with many thoughts and a soft back.
the wafer laptop grinds loudly; throws me off. The sound has to go somewhere?
CNN in our face gives us something to watch; and a movie channel, i�m blank.

i�ve got hard brain and the grinding sounds like grinding in my brain. i�m staring at you in a stunned silence; silence both physically and mentally as the sound of this machine grinds into my brain.

i�m not waking up yet. i�m looking for thoughts.
i�m moving slowly today; i�ve got to get these words out;

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september 22 2001 Saturday PM

poots and boots have made it safe and sound.
it�s a pretty sane place so far.
We�ve got CNN and discovery too ;-)
a lovely white apartment and a spectacular view

___________________________________________

I�ve got my finger on it.
I�m far more proud of the accomplishment of becoming mature, however faulty a state I may be in, than of being successful. The latter I expected; the former, never in my wildest dreams?

and here is where I get to admit it.
what more could one ask for.

___________________________________________________

september 19h 2001 wednesday AM

have you come here for solace;
for an understanding and acceptance?
and in a sense we preach to the converted<
and answer questions such as �can we fight evil?/a>
is my goodness in this vacuum, useful?
we speak foreign tongues, evil andi.
Im pointing north and it�s standing facing west.
nothing to do. Nothing to say.
I�m not even sure I see it.
and I�m quite convinced it doesn�t see me.
what do I do with such a fate, I�m not sure where to go.
so we all turn to God ?funny, all of us turn to God
to remind ourselves that good exists.

pootsy isn�t highly motivated this morning, java seems to have gone thru me. Let�s check the pot ok. Three more sips in the java pot, tepid but not tea. Scotch breath wakes one in a feverish fear; is the world falling down, over and over and over again. 8.20 am now.
like a geeky that I am I�m downloading and configuring. But things are never as beautiful as they are in these red pages, warm and comforting, private yet public ?hi mark! ?a place where I�m alone but not. Could there be a better place? Where you can speak your mind outloud but in private, I�ts a beautiful thing and probably the most placid of all. It�s something you have to do to understand it. So many people ask me why, so many have never done it. 8.23 and I still have time. Some of us believe that if we write things down, take everything that is in our thoughts, and splay them on pages, then we�re done what we can to explain things. I�m one of those. And if it�s only private therapy then so what.

Be not afraid;
I go before you always
come, follow me
and I will give you rest.

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september 18th 2001 tuesday 7:43 PM

i can speak my tongue in non foreign lands and i don't kn ow if allunderstand but i do.it feels good to sometimes know you are speaking the truth and nothing but the truth: but it can still be difficult...

these are the words that speak themselves, the words that are subtle
the words warped in time ; wrapped around yourself and slung up by a goo single malt
oops, a good single malt!

and then you can come home feeling so home, and is there a bigger feeling than coming home...
and you know that there are some in the world who wrap you up and whose lives you affect,

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september 16th 2001 SUNday

Be Not Afraid
by: The St. Louis Jesuits