the mEp for august 2015.                                 
                                                                                                   
                                                                              one day at a time....





SEPTEMBER MORN




August 30 2015
Dreams don't judge.

how does a brain construct a dream...

how does a  human construct a life...
about-face for goals;
about-face for bodily pleasures;
about-face for intolerance;
awake again, poots chews.
with food literally falling out of the fridge.
you could spend your days taking about the presence of the mint in that cake;
or ensuring that newlyweds connect,
instead you dream a constructed place
with a single desk and a single machine
and a man you haven't seen all week controlling your screens
while rena reads from a paper she was able to find
with notes from several steps ago;
and a semi-naked woman dances behind her with a man who taught her fellatio
while they move from the background to the forefront

as long as it's a dream
i'm saved from judgement
and judging.

can't everything be a dream
please.

August 29 2015

interview fallout:

• that was not the kind of guy i expected - sort of expected atypical, he was prototypical
  
• what is prototypical? an insecure person who doesn't really care about anyone but himself
  
• how did i know? the need to stick to a set of questions;
  
• why do they do that? they are unable to read a person by just talking
• what kind of person are they? the first kind :(
• here's the thing. you can't talk about things at my level when you're talking to the first kind
• let's just hope he wasn't smart enough to notice i was smarter.
  
  
  
  

August 28 2015

in all cylinders firing mode until just now (of course)

hand me my notes, will ya.

HOW TO CARRY AN EGG

• people can be split into three categories by motivation:
  
• Power, Glory, Prestige, Money (selfish or insecure)
  
• Doing the job well, personal growth, self-actualization (learning)
  
• Surviving another day on the planet (ineffective)
• Depending on the Organizational maturity, these 3 types of people either thrive or suffer
  
• Group 1 can survive in any org. they only care about themselves anyways
• Group 2 needs a fairly mature organization
• Group 3 can also survive in any type of organization 
• Bottom line is that you can divide people into two categories:
• Those who Care
  
• Those who don't
  
• Those who Care unfortunately are the ones who need to move around alot because they are looking for an organization that cares about the same things that they do
  
• They are also the ones who burn out
  
• I don't modify my ethical or quality standards because i am at work. I apply the same expectations on people and processes no matter where I am.
  
  This means:
• I wlil complain about inefficiencies
  
• I will never stop seeing room for improvement
• I will be disappointed
• At home, I'm a little bit too demanding, and at work, I'm a little bit too outspoken
  

• this is a business transaction. i provide skills to you and you provide the tools
• i will follow your processes but i will not work without common sense
• i expect to have input on the quality of resources being provided to me
• i will cease caring about the organization as soon as i feel that the organization has ceased caring about me.
  
  
  
  
  
• How will YOU get the egg across a crowded room?
• Let's say the goal of a project is to get an egg across the room. There are different ways to do so.
• Some people will throw the egg as hard as they can, it will get there fast and might bruise someone on it's way past but it will for sure be broken when it arrives. As long as no one notices that it's broken, all is good.
• Some will start talking to everyone in an attempt to convince them to bring the egg to the other side of the room
• Some will measure the egg and calculate it's mass and gravitational forces
• Some will tape the egg to their dog and throw a bone across the room. it will probably arrive unscathed and quickly but MAN that was alot of thinking
• Some will hold the egg and start a cheer: "THIS IS AN EGG! IT IS A GREAT EGG! YOU ARE  GREAT ROOM! WE WILL BE GREAT IF WE GET THE EGG ACROSS THE ROOM"
• Me? I'll just pass it to the next person and ask them to pass it to the next person til it gets across. It's very likely to get there pretty efficiently as long as everyone is able to follow instructions. It's not about you, people, it's about the egg.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

August 27 2015

in math class, i debated over a zero, everything else was going fine.
tossed and turned for twenty minutes then back into the zone, waking dizzy and tiptoeing over coffee and pigs
is a normal occurance all too late in the morning.

a northerly breeze envelops a northerly city
waking people who aren't so northerly
with the gentle swoooooshing in the trees
and a painting of cool on my face

bills are paid and one beer is empty
bodily pleasures are a luxury for time alone
the crabby coffee mug clicks these cheap plastic glasses
which cost seven hundred dollars;
cheap plastic clinking grates


sip run run to sit sit











August 26 2015

a night of dreams
my nabob's hot
it will wake me nicely
i have slept.

creaky floors - too much laughing on facebook -
don't those cicada's ever tire?

i'm squarely slept, it's 8 o'clock, we need a bed.
the Swiss man runs as with bent back, i alt tab and sip.
alt tab
alt tab
alt tab.

the cherry juice is still full, the air is fresher, the world is waking, i am waiting, only with short sentances.

secret messages that i look happy, are welcome, but few.
fernando, can you hear the drums, rarely do i give marital advice,
perhaps this is my calling, what i would happily wake up to do each day
i will easily tell you that luck is the greatest piece of the pie.

 









August 25 2015

short phrases one by one
the mEp this morning, meet the sun
while Swiss men sleep and child number one
fingers crossed

fifty years passed without a candle;
and no card, from a panicky professor;
in the scheme of things his love is there
hiding between lesson plans
and sad children



two steps forward, one step back,
markets and budgets are hard to maintain














August 24 2015

who are you sorry to live without;





August 22 2015

some amount of fortitude is required,









 August 19 2015

there is head love and heart love;
i'm still learning that i fabricated  one
to save  myself

or did i just get old enough