2020 has come
click here until i have time to download the index i haven't changed since my last laptop died.
december 30, 2019
back to work (for myself)
me: "we went to the new restaurant in the Mount Stephen club last night"
her" "I thought it was closed?!?"
me: "It did close but now it's a hotel and a fancy restaurant, they have the most delicious British Foo-"
her (interupting, mid-sentance, changing topic, no intention to listen to the rest of my story, because her story is forefront in her brain, as mine used to be, which she does at least 80%): "I read an article in the paper yesterday which listed the top ten restaurants in town and I had never heard of ONE of them!"
i'mma shrink the font now.
hope no one hears this.
cause that was a conversation with who?
december 28, 2019
i used to note everyone's birthday here, from Eleanor to Christine Habryl,
not really to wish them happy birthday, but because that's how my brain works
my brain doesn't work like that anymore
this typology thing has really messed me up.
today's topic is inferior functions
Fi grip as they call it: i don't think i'm ever like Meryl Streep in that movie
or when i don't get my way, i am a baby, well, um yes, that used to happen.
so let's think. is my entire frustration due to my Fi. my anger. my control. my everything?
2020 is around the corner: well in fact it's on Wednesday. Now that's nuts.
should i spend 250 bucks on dinner tonight or not
december 27, 2019
my favourite christmas gift in a long time
consists of a box of peppers from around the world
which i have to google and know everything about
because i just don't do less than that.
and the knowledge is the gift.
i'm getting fairly close to a nasty place.
it's not project management.
everything is changing constantly.
that's why they want to see each other.
transformation projects seem to use this methodology - people say its a cross between waterfall and agile but in fact
i have been managing projects since 1999.
just leave me be.
stop hawking me.
even your own people are PM level one...
december 17 2019
sometimes i think what it takes to be good in 2019 is to be naive:
my anxiety spikes if i don't do useful
maybe that's the main problem with life today
it's hard to find useful.
it's hard to be useful.
i dedicate today to my dear friend Guillermo, whose anxiety took over his life,
because he was determined to be useful.
in 2019, one shouldn't have to make friends with people for them to do you favours ast work
but since we live in an "anything goes" (nothing actually goes) culture, that is the case.
no one has any personality - the modern day work environment is more superficial than ever.
humanity is allowed but not if it's genuine.
december 15 2019
if you can be yourself in real life, lucky you.
then facebook does not have great potential for you.
the online world might appear flat for you.
just a poor electronic version of the real world.
then you may think facebook is just a boring venue for cat pics.
then you really don't understand twitter.
for those of us who cannot be our real selves in this sensor-driven world,
and for whom being our true selves is paramount;
the online world is a space we can speak our truth.
some of us must hide behind anonymity to do so:
it's not always about being cruel.
december 13 2019
it really is, all in the perception
i have never asked you for anything
not to help me paint.
not to help me move.
not to babysit. (Ok once).
it really is, all in the perception.
december 12 2019
there is a happy medium when it comes to work
work is not you.
you are not work.
you are paid to execute tasks
there is no happy medium when it comes to doing work right
there should be no loose ends
no tolerating of poor quality
you are not working for them
you are working for you
i literally cannot move on if a project is not complete
i couldn't imagine being obsessed with regular things
december 8 2019
shall i leave the mind meandering to the younger people
at what point should i shut up
i've run a million experiments
to no success - - - yet i go on
for someone to get it
i have a million questions before 10am
should i tell quinn i went to his concert, is that bragging
should i tell fb about esther perele or other things i can never say
should i message Kally, or will i bother her more - are we now friends, or not
why is a shitty table and chairs 649 dollars and who can afford that, if i cannot.
why is this song stuck in my head like a knife
december 5 2019
december 3, 2019
this video hits me right in the woman:
this place that women are allowed to be in 2019:
strong and fearless:
still requires vulnerability
and also makes me wonder
what's left for men.
i cannot lie
living in the moment
my videos help
i catch myself
monday norning when the eyes open
just stay here
cause here is always fine