close your eyes and imagine.
from age 31 to age 54 you spend your waking
up moments in silence.
never knowing the date, but
happy that it's often one number lower than
expected when i check
a vacation in a pandemic is not a vacation
because all i have are my recurring
when people don't hear from me
they think i do not know whose birthday has
people think if they do not hear something
it does not exist
because they must vocalize all thoughts all
or they do not exist.
i do recall that world; i lived there for a
very long time
but us aging ENTJs are much more inward than
our younger selves
i didn't call you before
when i had news
ain't calling now.
ENTJness of us, is simply not cognitively
aligned with being human.
happy birthday Papa.
1932 - may 2019
i post here, hoping it's
eternal, my thoughts are eternal; for me, and for you.
on a snotty, bleak, december day, i feign the arrival of
Christmas, starting with giving paper to a house fire
and ending with gold dear and garland. my brain
decorates small trees along the veranda up north, and
the tree i want for the city wasn't 100 dollars.
one can either buy groceries. 116 dollars. turnips and
Gruyere and tomatoes and noodles.
flank steak and drumsticks and Boston lettuce and apple
juice. parsley and milk. fennel.
then one can wait in line. pack it up, drag it home in
the cold dark December. saute the onions.
slice the tomatoes. boil the turnips. throw the peels in
the compost. bend over and remove the heavy pots from
carefully bake, stew, stir, and serve. wash the dishes
and the table. call the children. pour a glass of wine.
repeat 4 times.
one can alt tab to skip the dishes.
78 dollars. Korean bbq. 37 minutes.
everyone comes running after i pick it up from the
delicious meal, the odours irreplaceable.
piles of waste in the recycling tubs.
and then write an entry in the mEp.
just don't wanna have the
same boring conversations again and again.
why would you be able
to define an unhealthy type in the same way;
leaving the pic for
top of the page
and trying to
caffeinate myself out of bruxism
while circling around
being judgemental to my core.
val des lacs.
no sheets. ugg. not
a foggy head. ugg.
tuesday 9:21 am
today, 6:30am, maureen, in UK
i've invited twitter into the winter tub
as we hold our
though many can not
so many things you
will miss, boots
i will experience
them for you.
coffee is required
although it's not
always a certitude
like the itchy bumps
on my head
how much time can
one spend thinking about the same things
mr paste does not
want to help me here,
unusual, but not
if you like my posts
due to Fe
i will not bother
where is the line
i've always drawn my
until i brought in
the INTP and the kid
not only were they all talking
they actually weren't listening
think you follow my life: you think you know me:
when all they see is
what i curate for you to see
coffee wake me