JULY 2017

JUNE 27 2017

people think because i'm ENTJ that i have no emotions.
there is nothing further from the truth.
i am a passionate, creative, expressive, emotional creature.

Leading Extraverted Thinking Segmenting, organizing for efficiency, and systematizing
Supporting Introverted iNtuiting Foreseeing implications, transformations, and likely effects
Relief Extraverted Sensing Experiencing and acting in the immediate context.
Aspirational Introverted Feeling Valuing and considering importance, beliefs, and worth

what does anyone think drives all of the above?
in particular my leading function, Te:

what do they think drives someone to be efficient? to put things in order? to understand?

JUNE 26 2017

i'm going to call my last bathroom the 221,000 dollar bathroom.

JUNE 22 2017

click click

JUNE 20 2017

rueisms follow me

morning has broken

i finally read the michelle carter suicide trial story
and i pieced it into rue's headache
and i can't even mention my conclusions
for fear to tempt fate

but there is a story about a jar of marmelade
which i took to work once
and was labelled a thief;
in that world, jars remain in the fridge

but the more i think about it
the less i know which world i am even referring to
perhaps it is my world
which has no judgement

and then perhaps i am indeed a thief

but you can come to my house
and take anything but my diaries
my wedding ring
my family
my soul


some sleep, some peace of mind, some rest
finally came
june days with sevens in them always perk me up
and mid days in Stockholm are the longest ones of all
yet poots, little poots, sits outside his door, not his master's door,
yet she still dreams of him
the caffeine titers rise and with them some peace of mind
while numbers in the bank go down
and not much gently weeps

the dimmed and blurred voices of CNN vibrate through the floor
as an eighty-five year old man empties the dishwasher
and i hide from unrelenting questions
and think clear thoughts; finally;
about a Canadian Chinese woman
who loves me


racing against a red battery i'm always racing against something
including myself
and the noise of this cpu

i decided i wanted to listen to jean leloup
so i went to get a charger
his music transports me
out of my physical world
into the life i see

the anger crests
as voices murmur
and hum


treatise on narcissism

search for identity outside yourself
no introspection
lack of self awareness
charming to gratify ego
grandiose sense of self
if you detest one of their opinions their charm melts away
to make others look bad to aid the

and one jumps from narcissism to being a narcissist to seeing a narcissist to wondering what is a narcissist

JUNE 6-14
we were adjusting
to the shore of the south
while the weather was warm


in my dreams i was dreaming;
and now i can barely form a thought
was it the tequila
or the thoughts

crooked pillows in my back
and ringing ears and dripping nose
sounds worse than it could be;
the theory is actually kind
i have slept

which cruel thoughts haven't i said
which inane posts haven't i posted
rue follows me around ruefully
hearting this way and that
making me feel understood


it's a new day



the naked project manager missed a day
and isn't naked.

life barrels back to how it was, some players have changed
but the pasta store and it's quirky inhabitants are still there
the immigrants are Bulgarian instead of Lebanese
the prices have extra digits;
all i'm doing is re-living what i've done before through different eyes
and i'm getting tired of it

one can think about canoeing
which is peaceful
or even camping
with a sun hid canopy

or listen to cat stevens
in the morning