march 31 2020
Crickets Covid19


building theories for understanding the world is how i move
if your matrix glitches and you are angry at Greta, at Covid, at the establishment,
then you are the problem. there is no such thing as the freedom you desire:
there is no such thing as the world you imagine where everyone does the logical thing:
there is no world which works without someone at the helm; be it God or Trump:
that world is one where one lords over Flies


perhaps this is how feelers feel all the time.

march 30 2020
Crickets Covid19

there are unknowns i don't like but for some reason this isn't one of them.


march 29 2020
Crickets Covid19

divergent thinking semantics and fox news is on the brain plate today:
trying to hope on the other side of logic is never easy
especially when the logic brings you to another place
like Fox news
or not wanting nice things

too many topics in this brain today
but at least it is spitting out words
about earthquakes in the night
ambulances for a heart rate
expensive bike repairs
bad leaders
face masks
failed meetups
failed communication
the subjects pile up over lack of sleep and food


making a list allows my brain to move on
trying to document the dichotomy of logic that is rampant these days.

we have two friends (well one is my ex husband's best friend) who follow the what we call "Libertarian Logic" yet they seem like quite intelligent men. One follows tRump (Canadian who lived in the US and moved back to Canada) and one is a local Montrealer who doesn't think laws are necessary for seatbelts or for which essential services should be allowed to open. essentially,
the summary is, according to andrea, that they think logic and science is a way of thinking that humans have been using forever. when in fact, scientific logic is only been around for about a hundred years. before that, everything was group think and following what the others around you did. without that groupthink, humans would never have made it past 10 million hunter gatherers,

(PNAS v115 p.1137 2018)
since that is the number of humans the planet would support without technology.
you need stability on the whole to allow technology to continue to support society as it stands today. and the stability on the whole is more important to your health than your decision to do things on your own (like not wear seatbelts) or not buying a purse to support the economy. you cannot live in the woods on your own. it will not end well. who knows what will get you first,
the intestinal worms or the brain in your skull.
conclusion: your logic is flawed because your theories of individualism and libertarian will not work if implemented for the whole group.
empircal data: if people were as logical as your logic would like to believe, then everyone would have saved for retirement and have great pensions. they have not. if people were as logical as your logic would like to believe, no one would buy water bottles because they are filling the oceans. or drive cars unecessarily because it's ruining the climate.

'figs and pork chops with risotto'

march 28 2020
Crickets Covid19

i am not primarily allegient to you anymore.

perhaps it is me who is missing it.

sigh. i will likely never know.

let's just close that door and move on shall we.

vonda shepherd's voice warms my heart as i wake
over a period of hours
feeding first the brain's inability to focus
with calories
then feeding the brain's sense of alertness
with caffeine
then feeding the body's aches and pains
with food

except i lied.

fuck you for not understanding that a person can be more tired than you.

020-03-26 11:32 AM Administrator, Fieldglass SAP_CO_01: The WBS element C-00394548.01.K41 .OFF for task Code SAP_CO_01 is not valid.
Reason: FCS Charge Code Validation For Time Sheet
2020-03-25 05:31 PM Administrator, Fieldglass SAP_CO_01: The WBS element C-00394548.01.K41 .OFF for task Code SAP_CO_01 is not valid.
Reason: FCS Charge Code Validation For Time Sheet
2020-03-25 02:31 PM Administrator, Fieldglass SAP_CO_01: The WBS element C-00394548.01 .D2D for task Code SAP_CO_01 is not valid.
Reason: FCS Charge Code Validation For Time Sheet
2020-03-25 11:31 AM Administrator, Fieldglass SAP_CO_01: The WBS element C-00394548.01 D2D for task Code SAP_CO_01 is not valid.
Reason: FCS Charge Code Validation For Time Sheet

march 26 2020
Crickets Covid19

a tipped laptop stretching for it's lifeline
sits atop another
as i await the java
and my neurons

who may arrive today;
and visit all of me.

my itchy earplug ears are a fine sign
of sleep
from before 1am

and these ringing ears are tolerable
if i can think


the silent world and my relatively silent brain
give friday vibes

as i count the positives
not only of my zoom stocks
but of human connections
in the time of covid.

poots, you've been wondering what would happen early this century:
now you know.

a centurian event for the ages:
let's avoid tacky premonitions
but let's mention them
just in case.

march 25 2020
Crickets part two

even my smart friends are becoming dumb.
why are certain people so angry at the establishment?
they think they are smarter?
they are afraid to have their freedoms taken away?
or perhaps they just have alot of Te, like me.

this brain is still climbing through a fog
a fog of lack of sleep
of cbd oil mixed with benzos yum yum
of weak coffee
and hunger
yes hunger

the constant pandemic is helping me care more about a job i care less about

march 24 2020
  5:04.  pm
social distancing - day X?

quarantini is getting interesting: a new normal is emerging:

4pm - a video conference in a telecom company to say goodbye to a woman starting a new position tomorrow titled
"pause MH depart - aporter vos drinks sans alcohol"

4.30pm - a lecture in physics on a tablet via Zoom. yes, we bought stocks.

5pm - teenagers having a conversation on an app called "house party"



march 17 2020
2:15 pm
Crickets. day 3.

quarantini quontinues

march 15 2020
9:00 am
Crickets. day 1.

march break turns into Corona-Break: Quarantini: Plague Logs and Social Distancing memes

a whole bunch of relief slides off my shoulders, as i can hunker down like everyone else finally

but alas, who is that everyone else; how many of us are not running around;
and now i hear crickets

or a woodpecker.

let's go with woodpecker.

now where was i.

i was here, me and the cricket, with only residual stress on my shoulders;
and some room for my brain; for the papers to be sorted;
for the food to be prepared; and the hoarding to be organized
ultimate gratitude has been building inside of me
something i've never wanted to swallow
for fear of losing
but as i ride over the hump of life,
i see that eventually
all that will remain will be gratitude;

as stephen sings :

"These Golden Days, are all we have, between the cracks of now and then
Every King, Every Joker, has a beginning and and end
So light a fire, and take your preconceptions
And throw them onto the blaze
You got nothing but your Birthday suit, in these Golden Days"

what shall i call my quarantini blog

crickets perhaps.


march 10 2020

graphs circulate on a tuesday morning,
faster than a virus ever could

sips and sips of tepid espresso
get the bowels going
yet not the brain

through constantly smudged and dirty glasses
i adjust a laptop lighter than it's adapter
as it travels across my knees

and look for graphs to countcorona

march 5 2020

and the sun is shining in this rainy city; said Trooper;
and the sun is shining; said me;
and the brain waits for the body to shine
on this thursday day;
at eight forty six;

this is not an MBTI blog:
the world is bigger than that;
but Fe, man, Fe is fucked up.
just live your own life.


march 3 2020

it's a bitter nabob day,
but i slept.
picard knocked me out;
ok truth is alternative

and i can be paranoid after sleep;

march 2 2020