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  • Spring


                                               my    E l e c t r o n i c     pen                                                march  2 0 1 3                                                    the   i    n  d  e  x  








    march 31


    If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
     and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

    Corinthians 13:2

    woke up still in love, i am not nothing.


    easter, easter, everywhere






    march 28



    sipping, not running, poots rests, from a long night with a pounding head.
    dreams of an everyday housewife; questions for marlene; never to be answered, many.







    M
    u s  i  c  
    i n     M y   B o n e s  a n d  y  o  u ...




    march 26



    a sleeping house lies
    close to the ground
    squirrels survive,
    and reality abounds.


    can a body be so physical, as to repurpose a frontal cortex, and this with one kiss, but, yes.

    every quote you ever heard, every song i ever sung, somehow you are all of them.

    and jann sung:

    You are oxygen
    You are medicine
    you are everything that's good about the universe
    You are everything you dream of
    When you're nine years old
    You are open wide
    A million tears inside
    And there is nothing that I would not do
    To keep you well
    No there is nothing that I would not do
    To keep you well













    march 24



    thebunnya fixed router
    a burnt finger
    a miracle, nothing less.


    march 23

    i like the marieke font.
    good morning world, good morning mEp, coffee, grey, grey, late march day. we're dreaming of boats, big and small, of summer weeks gone by too fast, of eventual spring, eternal summers, and maybe a disney cruise one day.

    it's not a cruel world by design - transitional states were not designed - allow yourself to wake up poots, before letting the world in - but once you're awake, go back to the other worldto allow him in... lots of mood phasing, controlled or not, mood phasing, yes, coin that phrase.

    and that's the key, men don't do mood phasing.

    if i ain't surfin' bad stuff or thinkin' about it,

    then i'm a dull poot.
     














    y





        march 20
        
    lakelight

    welcome snow, welcome spring.
    poots lay in bed, twitter quotes pounding through her head
    a mile a minute;
    no wine, no worry, no woes.
    what changed?

    i am nearly good enough to find a new job.

    shhhhhh..
    let's not say too much at seven thirty seven
    before the java's done...
    except that the best thing about that place,
    is still, you.

















    march 19
    2013
        

    there's a new car covered in snow this morning
    waking up still alive yet hungry,
    i cup my tiny breasts
    and watch the world get whiter.




    Marieke

    Ay Marieke, Marieke, je t'aimais tant
    Entre les tours de Bruges et Gand
    Ay Marieke, Marieke, il y a longtemps
    Entre les tours de Bruges et Gand






    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Waait de wind, de stomme wind
    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Weent de zee, de grijze zee

    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Lijdt het licht, het donk're licht
    En schuurt het zand over mijn land
    Mijn platte land, mijn Vlaanderland

    Ay Marieke, Marieke, le ciel flamand
    Couleur des tours de Bruges et Gand
    Ay Marieke, Marieke, le ciel flamand
    Pleure avec moi de Bruges à Gand

    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Waait de wind C'EST FINI
    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Weent de zee DÉJÀ FINI

    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Lijdt het licht, TOUT EST FINI
    En schuurt het zand over mijn land
    Mijn platte land, mijn Vlaanderland

    Ay Marieke, Marieke, le ciel flamand
    Pesait-il trop de Bruges à Gand
    Ay Marieke, Marieke, sur tes vingt ans
    Que j'aimais tant, de Bruges à Gand

    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Lacht de duivel, de zwarte duivel
    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Brandt mijn hart, mijn oude hart

    Zonder liefde, warme liefde
    Sterft de zomer, de droeve zomer
    En schuurt het zand over mijn land
    Mijn platte land, mijn Vlaanderland

    Ay Marieke, Marieke, revienne le temps
    Revienne le temps de Bruges et Gand
    Ay Marieke, Marieke, revienne le temps
    Où tu m'aimais de Bruges à Gand

    Ay Marieke, Marieke, le soir souvent
    Entre les tours de Bruges et Gand
    Ay Marieke, Marieke, tous les étangs
    M'ouvrent leurs bras de Bruges à Gand
    De Bruges à Gand, de Bruges à Gand…


    Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/marieke-marieke.html#5yA5muOkBpte68la.99













    march 18 2013
         another monday.

    the house is extra quiet on  monday mornings, the rodent and the non rodents forage in four by four cages for factory produced food.
    and you think YOUR life is meaningless?

    hey, is that my lower back aching, thirty days be damned at my age,
    incessant chewing morning til night, dreams i don't care about remembering,

    and third time to get up for the kleenex box. argh.

    poots falters on the fence this morning,
    waiting for the lighter sun,
    unsure of her mood,
     clearing her breathing,
    listening to the rodent and the non rodents.


    it's seven fifty one, some kids are already at school.



    "if i'm well, you tell she's been with me now. she's been with me now quite a long long time"

    - james taylor





    march 17 2013
        in the middle


      all i notice is what i notice.

    i honestly believe that i do not pass through time but that time passes through me.
    when you know this, you refuse to watch television. you don't want status quo.
    and, you understand very very explicitly that your brain is a product of the paleolithic era.
    this also means that you understand explicity the future you will miss.
    that's where i stand alone.

    i'm certain that there is a way to teach her she is in the middle without upsetting her too much.
    i just need to figure it out for myself, first. i'm getting there. wish me luck that i'm not too late.

    so yes, take your pinterests with you, from the glass hallway to the glass ceiling;
    i've put you in a box oh, so long ago without evening knowing i had.
    i've mocked you, i've tried to become you, i've hated you and i've loved you.

    now, what's next, if only i knew.

    a little story.







    march 15 2013
        beware.


    8:14 it felt like a long sleep









    march 14 2013
    it feels like spring...



    then, i had no choice.



     



    march 13
    2013

    then i saw your face....

    i was a non-believer, said poot.
    then, i had no choice.
    is this a fleeting chance, roberta, a rush of wild wind, the scent of a summer rose,
    or, do miracles actually exist.
    waxing waxy is difficult, in public, and even in private,
    but i need to try...

    and even without the calculations,
    without all measure of belief,
    months and months later,
    the sun outside my window
    still rises over a new dawn;


    sometimes, you don't even get a chance to dream something
    then you're a believer.
    whether you believe it, nor not.

    imagine waking up like this.












    march 12 2013
        3 days passed


    hummers humming, time change leaves little poots awake early, and everyone else fast asleep.
    the gentle hum of snoring means everything is alright in the world.

    baring all on paper, i only dream of such a thing for the mEp. i am not sure even Frankie is ready for that, yet.
    can what is important to me, be so fucking different from everyone else, and poots changed keyboard settings and cannot type a question mark today.

    more coffee, a kleenex box, and i am back, still with no apostrophes.

    3 days passed, settling back into real life, the goal is to keep the stress out. the pressure was too much.
    several pages onto paper last night, for everyone, meant a quiet house with machines humming, bellies fed,
    homework done, and other small miracles, nonetobenamedhere.

    but on that paper, notes, in large square brackets, tell of truths, singoutloud truths, with no one but myself to sing them to.

    it is seven twenty am, the sky doesnt care the time, nor the humming, except the hummers.
    soon, it will be time to start running again.



















    march 9 2013
        the sun rises over mont tremblant
    two houses on a cliff will never be mine



    a swollen lymph node, on the left, greets a slept poot.
    homemade coffee, a room with a view, march became the 9th
    alone,  but not, sore teeth from candy her teeth rejects,
    dangerous symptoms to discuss in the mEp
    but this morning i'm ok.

    i survived what i gave my body,
    it asks for a cleansing,
    pretty please with a cherry on top
    white fish from the deepest ocean

    organic brown rice; slowly cooked vegetables;
    can i give it that.





    we needed to run the experiment
    well i did
    and i'm glad i did
    i don't have to be perfect,
    anymore.







    e,
    but not,















    march 8 2013

      parallels


    missing the point.

    when i love you, i love you.









    march 7 2013
          deviantart, vacation, and pennies.

    in this browser where the cache gets cleared,
    poots inhales a long time, one for me, one for her, one for him,
    and leans back to write, not sure it's writing when i'm typing, but a small glass of wine sits next to me
    and no one waits for me. this alone is peace itself.

    the lyrics to bewitched besmerch me, what did sex look like in nineteen forty, anyone's guess.
    women were women and men were men. today, it's anyone's guess.

    who lives in an imaginary world
    what for, and wherefore and why,
    is this one too cruel, too harsh,
    and has it not treated you well.
    poots, does your imaginary world embarrass you.
    it's been a very very long time coming.


    what would frankie say to that.

    no matter what i write, it starts in a place,
    and ends, sometimes jagged, sometimes gracefully,
    in another.











    march 6 2013
          time off. from what?

    fatigue
    sarah
    lake wobegone
    caffeine

    ringing ears
    more fatigue
    sholders tense
    ringing ears
    plaguing me

    this is how i feel physically

    now for the other, the other can't think anything because of the above.
    sleep
    rest
    back to bed.
    i could force it.
    why should i.









    march 2 2013
         

    oh the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone

    what's in a song. maybe an entire life; washes before my eyes




    copyriht   the mEp

    1996 - 2013