april 9th 2022

perhaps my life for today, which includes hers, and yours...
a bar chart; i real dream; many pills; a sore back; facetime with no audio;

slow computers
slow people

april 1998...

looking back while she visits you.




this song is actually about losing his father...

wednesday april 7

as the years go by,
the empty world you left me with isn't being filled up with anything else.
the hole just gets bigger and bigger as you miss out on more things

and as i

tuesday april 5

walked past the church on monkland and saw the notes in the window
and remembered how quiet church is and how gentle people are
remembered the peaceful feeling of sitting in church
and how everyone just smiles and is kind
and my body wanted to go int there and be treated nicely and with no pressure
and i realized perhaps church for many people has zilch to do with god or religion
maybe it's just a safe and quiet place where you can sit in peace and quiet.

free therapy, let's say.

sunday april 3rd
still no ernie

i am here to speak my mind; a thing i cannot do
every second thought i have, is something about you
people hate me for what i did and said
and things i did not do

i'm halfway between life and death
in many different ways:
i'm almost over hurdle three

saturday april 2


I rarely advertise my accomplishments but this one is gonna be said. in March of 2010, I promised myself Iā€™d never get on a plane again, and on February 14 of 2022, I was I invited to a leadership meeting in Vegas for the first job I wanna keep since 2015.

So after twelve years of telling myself that Iā€™d never fly again, I flew (with lorazepam) totally calm, and I nearly enjoyed the opportunity to zone out and relax. It was a major accomplishment for me and I have to admit I am proud of myself. Tunisia here I come !šŸ›©šŸŒŽšŸ‡¹šŸ‡³

march 27 story

another sunday
fonts are making me wanna scream before i finish coffee

is this one gonna be bigger phewph no

we went to church
we stopped
i made spaghetti
i tried
i bought a sewing machine
it failed
my effort was large
i promise you that

you didn't know that as i walked around carrefour i was reliving all the stories with you
the panda store the parking the foodcourt all of them
all of my stories include you

march 23 story that i only have time to tell now on march 27

Tell the story about not caring so much about Ronnie's pottery because that is just an object and you learned to care more about people than objects

once you give birth
so many stories change
once someone dies
all the stories change

march 2022

easter colours

march 20

welcome back to the silenced mEp
silenced by stress and grief
all silenced by society
and you

greatful for coffee on a sunday
grateful for spell check
grate isn't a word in my mind
nor in yours

the brainspace is changing   while it goes up and down  dramastically through these flying weeks
it's warping, with some hope drops once in a while, it's frozen alot, with painful thoughts, a block of ice
is the section where you are gone; whom i talk to
and who walks a large floofer through snowdon in the evenings
as i promised