my    E l e c t r o n i c     pen                                         d |e |c |e |m |b |e r   †††††† 2 017                                 i

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December 15

 

The internet has claimed my brain

 

Ö

 

I tried to stay in a world of logic

Then I fell out

 

 

Do democrats really need a new roadmap?

Since when does one need a roadmap towards reason?

When did the need to justify brains rise to power?

 

Directors sit in meetings and instead of returning with information

They return with Ďextreme concernsí Ė emotional responses to a bits and bytes situation

And they are paid handsomely, until emotions are no longer the lifebloodÖ

 

 



 

 

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December 14

 

Thank you, universe, for that dream about daphne trasler

Thank you, for the reflection of myself in the bus window where I looked like a cool lesbian

Thank you for the small, yellow, stained, cloth purse that she was zipping open and closed

Thank you for the cherry chocolates Rose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let it be known that

 

On December 13th 2017 at 6:45 pm
†††††††††††††† she said that she does not understand people with perfect lives and who are happy that way

That it would be so boring.

 

 

 

And that her father

Looked at me and said

ďmore stressful than money?!Ē ďhumphĒ!

As though there is no possibility in this wide, wide, universe

That anything, could possibly be more stressful

Than a parking ticket.

 

 

 

 

 

†††††††††††††† d e c e m b e r†† 12

in double-digits December presses on

I run fingers through unwashed hair;

to the rhythm of flashing electronics

the gurgling of fishwater

and a beeping, dying battery\

 

this morningís bitter coffee brought me back to a short moment in Hungary

in 2001. A woman from Albuquerque, whom Iíve spoken about before,

rented a very minute flat surrounded by pigeons and their dirt.

She owned one fork, one spoon, and one book, whose name escapes me now

About a British woman who once lived in a similar flat just after the communist regime

 

I own over a hundred forks

But I still think of her

 

of the forced simplicity

of the simpler struggles

of the physical labour

of the time spent

and of the the things I donít want to think about

and

because one fork is enough for one

 

Is it not

06:47AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

†††††††††††††† d e c e m b e r†† 11

she rushes out the door

itís not yet 8

a sleeping man snores

I take care of them

Though we are all separate

How did I get here

As a caregiver with no life without them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††† †††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††d e c e m b e r†† 8

early lights.jpg

she didnít like the broom holding her sofa together

but really nothing was holding her life together

and she never noticed

do I belong in this place

with sweeping floors

and a missing oven door

but itís where I am

so where else could I be

itís a job I hate

tied to a salary I hate to love

and a broken oven door

I mostly chose it all

I mostly chose

I chose love

Over a broken oven door

6:46 am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

d e c e m b e r†† 7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ever wakeup and realize you drank your lie away

d e c e m b e r†† 3

the most important thing is to be objective

that is, to stand back and view the wholeness

there is a wholeness, to the life, when we see it or not

even as we watch Okeanos diving to the bottom of the floor

and as you move in your innocent world where nothing else matters

once in a while anyways

this small room feels smaller

as I sweep through the past the present and the future

with my intuitive minds eye

d e c e m b e r†† 2



as part of my new life
we sit across a small wooden table

purchased at IKEA in Dersden Germany

on early dark evenings

and exchange music from another time

over Swiss wine

and short phrases

and once in a while

an entire life escapes

from a beautiful, tired, and scared

Swiss manís eyes

These moments are few;

they are far between;

in fact,

they are almost never

But when they are,

They are life

Itself.

_________

18:56pm
Saturday December 2, 2017-12-02

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d e c e m b e r†† 1



the darker months have come

and they go faster than ever before

itís almost like theyíre over before they begin

so who has time for fear

this one seems different;

more blocks are in place

i feel like Iím steering again

at least some of the time

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