april zoomed in


march 28 2023
  749 am

yikes
damaging wake up;
can't mention why

no more alcohol on weeknights
even a teeny tiny








march 27 2023
  9:13 am

i

march 26 2023
  10:10 am

i do feel bad for sensors, i honestly do

but i slept

and the BOLD coffee isn't too horrible

Sunday runday ucky rainday
Oka-day drive-a-day maybe see my mom--a-day

so sad to spy on someone you envy
so so so sad
i am sorry




more
BOOKED

they've honestly never looked happy for me once
i'm slow
because of my choices
...
or maybe  because

i know many of you hate me because i left him, but let's see what you would have done
if you weren't a psychologist

march 25 2023
9:39 am

crazy dream (couldn't find the file i wanted to share on teams and as i walked away the dude yelled that he couldn't see me)(then chloe played)
i hunted and hunted and my screen kept showing cartoons  that i never watch over and over again

yes it's hard not to have friends

march 21 2023
8:41am


ALL BOOKED

now, not sure if i'm gonna have all the $$$$
but at least it's booked IF i do

march 20 2023
8:28a

not much creative  here;
i could perhaps write my thoughts all day;
the first ones are difficult
well
all them are

and the  keyboard is busticated;

and well she says i should spend my money on the  wall and all the things i say i can't afford
instead of vacation

but she's wrong;
it's not my house.
and it's not her money

depressing thoughts about possible narcisssism;

march 19 2023
10:24am

parade day
but you don't say
last asia day
but you don't say

it's pretty much over,
which well, is sad
but i guess i do know why
ya'll just a bunch of STs
who answer a hard phone;
perhaps suburbanites,
fixed rules,

i get it
i was  there

i'm just not anymore

the rest of this life will be sad
but i am who i am
and i've never once  done anything with malicious intent

just like you















march 14 2023
8:14am

snow  day


city day

subway day





march 13 2023
8:04am

real boot  removal day



dog scratches the door
delete
delete
delete

"it takes me 25 seconds to get up ad 25 seconds  to sit down and it's easier for you|

delete









 


march 6 2023
8:04am

boot  removal day
ernie missed all this...
breaks me up


i guess many people just work.
day to day.
or maybe it's just me who doesn't have a friend since you died.
i am sorry.
i did  not want you to die
you did not want to die
i don't know how many time i say this a day









march 5 2023
10:17 am


even  if i  boasted and bragged and self-aggrandized;
nothing  would change;
perhaps they do hate me

perhaps my brain is empty because  i did let i t all out...

http://www.vif.com/users/louern/mep1296.htm



you see, if therapists tell you that everything you feel is OK,  then you become the center of the world.



like, what  do you do when you get to this point in life

they think they\re close but close for them ain't close for me

Yes, yes, don't forget, High School mentality
who said that, remind me, brain
i mean
it's OK if you haven't matured beyond high school mentality


but


not.

but that's the entire society we live in.










march 4 2023
9:00 am


i will provide examples
one by one
for my brain
to believe me

- offer condo, nope!
- no socks - fancy cord
- send pics
- no dinners
- change will
- 300 thousand dollars, no 1,000

i know you think i'm perfect
but i'm not


 















march 2 2023
6:00pm


one day i will  say it all

in the meantime
...

you can fool people who  think they are fooling you.

 march 1 2023

wednesday white rabbits; white day; but dark inside;
work is painfully boring and unclear;
no real structure; sad



test