may 2026


JUNE IS HERE





i have a different life.
i pay interest on credit cards.
i manage my budget
...

every day...



may 27







here is what i do, all the time:
  1. vacuum 6 rooms and hallway
  2. wash floors in 3 rooms and hallway
  3. empty vacuum cleaner
  4. wash kitchen floor every day, gotten dirty by them
  5. move the mats to mop the floor
  6. wash the counter
  7. wash the tables
  8. wash the tablecloths
  9. wash the napkins
  10. fold the napkins
  11. fold the tablecloths
  12. put them away in a small drawer
  13. wash the bathroom sink every day
  14. wash the bathroom walls
  15. wash the mats
  16. put the mats away
  17. replace the towels iin the bathroom
  18. wash the towels
  19. fold the towels
  20. put them away in 4 places
  21. replace the mats
  22. wash the mirrors
  23. wash the windows
  24. wash all the desks and tv and the tables in 3 rooms
  25. put everything away (approximatley 200 things)
  26. purchase 300 things
  27. pay 24 bills a month
  28. drive to the grocery store
  29. choose food
  30. put it in bags - sometimes 5 bags
  31. put it in the car
  32. drive home
  33. go to 4 stores
  34. drag it in the house 99% of the time
  35. water the lawn twice a day
  36. water the flowers every day
  37. plant flowers
  38. plant grass
  39. sweep the entrance
  40. sweep the sidwalik
  41. sweep the driveway
  42. put gas in the car
  43. get the car washed
  44. turn lights on and off (about 10 times a day)

  46. asdf
  47. asd
  48. asdf
  49. asdf
  50. asdf
  51. asdf
  52. asdf
  53. asd
  54. fasdf
  55. asdf
  56. asdf
  57. asdf
  58. asdf
  59. asdf
  60. asdf
  61. asdf
  62. asd
  63. fasd
  64. fasdf

  66. asdf
  67. asdf
  68. asd
  69. asdf
  70. asdf
may 26



so here's the thing.
if you've never ever once been uncomfortable or totally stressed about money...
then you do not understand that stress...
same as you do not undersand grief.


means you live in a different world.
yes, lucky you
but no, you don't really understand much.



may 21.






people used to rent apartments and make sure the renters had a nice place …
now it’s just to make money 
but don’t worry 
everyone makes way more profit today (facepalm)



I was thinking the personality type of the people who judged me for the expensive things...  blank …

It’s a judgemental factor, but they do different kinds of judgemental than me…

They are touching the person, but I am judging the objects…
But when I judged their objects like the wine… they take it personally…
let me think about them judging the goose coat 
I don’t really take it personally.

It just makes me realize that they are judgmental.
and they do not think they are.
because it's their opinion.

like i used to be.
in the 80s.


so the bottom line is:
they assume that their opinions are correct
and that mine are not.





may 20


look folks.
if you don't know what to tell someone to do about their stocks,
don't talk to them about their stocks

may 19




fuck you banking.
i paid all my bills.
i pay thousands of interest a year.
fuck you for lowering my credit rating.
fuck you.




fuck you tiktok.
all i did was post a video of montreal.
not the game.
fuck you.


may 18








people need to understand.
if someone has been poor,
and super stressed by not having enough money,
and not had enough energy to get a job,
paying a credit card is not a life goal.
withdrawing 29 thousand bucks is not chillax.
it's not fun
its not making us happy.















their gen thinks personal things are personal
but personal things are the most important things in life.

and when she looks at old things
it's not because she CARES about the past...

it's to get attention in the moment.
it's to share that she owns things.
it's to share things.
nothing to do with caring deeply.


omg i’m so dumb 

i just realized the reason i don’t love visiting her
… 

I HAVE TO BE FAKE
it’s not about lying 
it’s about fake 

and when he visits he can be less fake - he always seems more serious - he opens up to her - omg in stupid




may 15





The reason she never tells me that she’s on a trip because it’s not very deep …
nothing is deep to her. 
i am so stupid lol

may 14









they don’t understand making friends online or living in a community online .
i wonder why...
is it because they don’t evolve , because they live in the same world as the old days… ?

yes, their brains know what’s going on in the world yes, but they aren’t able to emotionally evolve.
also.

do they ever have deep conversations?

nope. never…. is it because they need to live in their safe world ?
or because they just do not have deep emotions?
obviously newer gens have more emotions,
it's obviously a new world
the older world required physical labour...
then the world i grew up in was superficial

maybe that's why?
of course the world is still kinda superficial
except the world i live in....

https://www.tiktok.com/@grieving_like_a_mother





may 13






8:57am
today is the day.
pay that MC and shut it down.
F you MC.
F you Neo.
then what.

will WSP go up? lol

happy birthday Adele.
None of you ever wish me Happy Birthday.
None of you ever ask me how I am doing.
None of you ever message me.
Fuck y'all.

HOpe you get well.




may 12







here is the difference.
i don't do what i know i should do



may 8





i couldn't afford home phone
but they didn't understand.

may 6








between may 2 and may 5:

SI systems chick annoying a.f. LOL
but i did it, updated my cv

spoke to her in french
translated my cv

also chloe will apply to CCW a lady at work is helping her
yay yay yay















it's ok, they will go to sensor hell.
they just do not have intuition.

it's going to be a messy maymonth.
no life for me.
nor for them lol.
;adlfkj;asldjf;lasjdflkajs;dlj;lkjdf;lkasjd;lfkjsd

and.
just to inform you.
not you, her...
when i get up
the first 10 minutes,
are the only minutes of the day that i get to live in my own world.


may 2

go habs go. :( booooooooooooo
aaaaahhhhhh


--------------------------------



even if people don't like you,
what can you do?
not much.

may 1